Apologies if you guys have seen this before, but this made me laugh out loud...

ACMMS Attach coffee machine to main storage
BBBF Branch on Bit Bucket Full
BBT Branch on Binary Tree
BBW Branch Both Ways
BCF Branch and catch fire
BEW Branch Either Way
BH Branch and Hang
BMR Branch Multiple Registers
BOB Branch On Bug
BOD Beat on Drum
BOI Byte Operator Immediately
BPDI Be Polite, Don't Interrupt
BPO Branch on Power Off
BST Backspace and Stretch Tape
CDS Condense and Destroy System
CEMU Close Eyes and Monkey with User Space
CLBR Clobber Register
CLBRI Clobber Register Immediately
CM Circulate Memory
CMFRM Come From (essential for truly structured programming)
CPAR Crumple Paper and Rip
CPPR Crumple Printer Paper and Rip
CRB Crash and Burn
CRN Convert to Roman Numerals
CU Convert to Unary
CZZC Convert Zone to ZIP Code
DC Divide and Conquer
DMPK Destroy Memory Protect Key
DNPG Do not pass go
DO Divide and Overflow
DWIMNWIS Do what I mean, not what I say
ECP Erase calling program
EEL Enter endless loop
EIOC Execute Invalid Opcode
EJD Eject disk
EMPC Emulate Pocket Calculator
EPI Execute Programmer Immediately
EROS Erase Read Only Storage
ERP Erase pointer
EXCE Execute Customer Engineer
EXOP Execute Operator
EXPP Execute Political Prisoner
FS Freeze System
FDS Freeze-dry System
FSRA Forms skip and run away
GFD Go Forth and Divide
GFM Go Forth and Multiply
HCF Halt and Catch Fire
IBP Insert Bug and Proceed
ICI Ignore current instruction
IIB Ignore Inquiry and Branch
INSQSW Insert Into Queue Somewhere (for FINO queues [First in never out])
LCC Load and Clear Core
MBF Multiply and be Fruitful
MLR Move and Lose Record
OPD Open the Pod Bay Doors, HAL
PBC Print and Break Chain
PD Play Dead
PDSK Punch Disk
PH Phone Home
PHET E.T. Phone Home
PI Punch Invalid
POPI Punch Operator Immediately
PS* Punch Obscenity
PSD Pause and Smoke Dope
PVLC Punch Variable Length Card
RASC Read And Shred Card
RD Reverse Directions
RDS Read Sideways
RIRG Read Inter-record Gap
RPM Read Programmer's Mind
RSD On Read Error Self Destruct
RSSC Reduce Speed, Step Carefully (for improved accuracy)
RSTOM Read from Store-only Memory
RTAB Rewind Tape and Break
RWCR Rewind Card Reader
RWDSK Rewind Disk
RWOC Read Writing On Card
SCRBL Scribble to disk - faster than a write
SHAB Shift a bit
SHLB Shift a little bit
SHLBM Shift a little bit more
SLC Search for Lost Chord
SMR Skip on Meaningless Result
SOT Sit on a Tack
SPSW Scramble Program Status Word
SQPC Sit Quietly and Play with your Crayons
SRSD Seek Record and Scar Disk
SRZ Subtract and Reset to Zero
SSJ Select Stacker and Jam
STROM Store in Read Only Memory
TCFL Transfer control to fluorescent lights
TDB Transfer and Drop Bits
UER Update and Erase Record
WBT Water Binary Tree
WEMG Write Eighteen-minute Gap
WPM Write Programmer's Mind
WYWIWYG Enter "What You Want Is What You Get" mode
XSP Execute Systems Programmer